Talking about sex with your kid is one of the most dreaded conversations you may have with him, yet it may be up to you to initiate this topic with him. The age at which you decide to have the sex conversation with your kid is entirely up to you, but you’ll want to start preparing for it as soon as they reach the preteen years of age.
Here are some pointers to help you and your partner get through what could be a very awkward sequence of conversations.
How to Have the Sex Talk with Your Son
Begin introducing the topic of conversation as soon as possible, but gradually. There is no reason to have a single, lengthy conversation with your son in which you attempt to cover every aspect of sex that he might need to know.
It is acceptable to begin this type of communication in little steps, especially if you are assessing his maturity level at various stages of his life at the time. It will be difficult for you to teach him lessons about consent and protection if you wait until he is a teenager since he will have learned a lot about it somewhere else by that point in his life.
Gradually bring it up in conversation, and always be available to answer any questions he may have. Developing your own point of view on the matter and educating yourself as much as possible on how to manage this conversation may be beneficial in preparing yourself for the conversation.
The Sex Education Answer Book is a wonderful book for parents to read at this point in their child’s development. It’s best to be prepared for any and all questions that may arise as a result of your decision to speak openly about this issue.
Work On a Need-to-Know Basis Based On His Age
The way you handle the sex chat should be determined by your son’s age and how mature he is at different stages of his life, among other factors. When your son is younger, this may entail teaching him about his anatomy, but doing it in a way that a young youngster can comprehend.
It is possible that you may start talking to him about puberty and reproduction when he is a bit older, and that this will lead to a more serious discussion about sex when he is in his pre-teen and adolescent years.
You can introduce him to these concepts through the use of age-appropriate anatomy textbooks. The following are three books that I recommend on this subject:
It’s Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends is a great book to introduce from as early as the kindergarten years.
It’s So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families is another great book in the series for kids a little older, maybe from Grade 2 upwards.
Sex is a Funny Word: A Book about Bodies, Feelings, and YOU is a book for 9 year olds and up and introduces the topic of sex to pre-teens in a digestible way.
Make Sure He Understands What Consent Is
The reason you keep getting advise that your son needs to understand what consent is is because it is so critical to his future success. With so many various types of behaviors depicted on television and the internet nowadays, it is especially important for your son to understand what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
Regarding intimacy with a girl, make certain that he not only comprehends the concept of “no means no,” but also understands how to obtain proper consent from a female partner. Not only should a man never be pushed or forced into something he isn’t ready for, but he should also never feel pushed or forced into something he isn’t ready for.
Consent: The New Rules of Sex Education: Every Teen’s Guide to Healthy Sexual Relationships is a great book on this specific topic. It’s so important to approach this subject in a way that they understand completely and without any biases.
This book is also free if you have a Kindle Unlimited membership. For less than $10 per month, you’ll have an endless supply to a huge variety of books that cover every topic you can imagine, fiction and non-fiction. A great investment for you and your children.
Instill the Importance of Safe Sex
Naturally, you need to teach about safe sex as well. As you are having the sex talk, when you think he is old enough to start being physical, explain the importance of safe sex. Don’t just cover protection to avoid pregnancy, but also teach about the dangers of different sexually transmitted diseases and how to avoid them with protection.
Thee topics are introduced in the book It’s Perfectly Normal and is great for young kids to begin coming aware of these issues.
If you don’t feel comfortable with some of these topics of conversation, find someone you trust to discuss them with your son and use the books suggested to help get expert information across to them.
It’s never OK to shy away from these topics, leaving them to find out about sex and everything it entails from friends or social media where the information can go very wrong very quickly.
Teaching Your Son it is Okay to have Emotions
When it comes to talking about their emotions and sensitive side, parenting sons differs from parenting daughters in a few important ways. It appears that there is widespread agreement that it is OK for girls to be sensitive, but that when boys are sensitive, they are sometimes considered as weak.
It is your responsibility as a mother to teach your son that all of his emotions and feelings are valid. Teach him that it is totally acceptable to cry and that it is also perfectly acceptable for him to embrace and share his feelings.
The following are a few suggestions for assisting your son in dealing with his emotions in the best way possible.
Look at Things from Your Son’s Perspective
When your son expresses strong feelings about something, don’t simply disregard them and move on from the issue at hand. Try to see things from his point of view as much as possible.
A child’s emotions are not always characterized by sobbing; instead, he may react in an angry or frustrated manner at other times. In the event that your son appears to be lashing out at you or others, attempt to determine what is driving this behavior before lecturing or punishing him.
Another key method to communicate to him that it is good to experience his emotions and sentiments, but that there are times when there is a better way to deal with them is to use humor.
Never Use Phrases Like ‘Be a Man’
There are a range of things that people say to boys that can be detrimental to their well-being. Telling him that he ‘throws like a girl’ or that he needs to ‘be a man’ is insulting and humiliating, and it can have a negative impact on his self-esteem.
Not only are they detrimental to your son’s personal self-esteem, but they can also lead him to believe that it is not acceptable to communicate his sentiments and emotions to other people. The poor habit of keeping them all inside and believing that if he cries, he isn’t acting like a man is established.
Make sure that no one in his life ever says anything like this to him, and that you encourage him to express his feelings by letting him know that it is totally safe to do so and to deal with them as they arise.
Discourage Anyone that Makes Fun of Him For Crying
Encourage others in his life who make fun of him if he is sensitive or emotional to avoid making fun of him. If he sobs while watching a sad movie or because he has injured himself, and someone is making fun of him, tell them to stop right then and then.
Make sure they understand that it is not acceptable, and that your son learns that it is acceptable for him to express his feelings.
You should always be the person your son can turn to if he needs to chat, but you should also ensure that he learns that it is acceptable to trust another adult with anything he needs to talk about. Instill the importance of not allowing someone to bully him because of his or her beliefs or feelings about a particular issue.
I have always been fond of make-up ever since my adolescent days. I would try out different products on myself. With time I realized that while doing make-up can be fun, I also need to take care of my skin. I follow a strict skincare regime now and hope more people understand the importance of doing the same if they have access to the right products.